


Don't Call Me Daughter

by WAKEMEUPwakemeupinsideCANTWAKEUPwakemeup



Category: All Elite Wrestling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Coming Out, Deadname Mentioned, Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers, FtM!Trent?, Gender Dysphoria, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, a little bit, f slur mentioned, i think thats everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:13:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28574325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WAKEMEUPwakemeupinsideCANTWAKEUPwakemeup/pseuds/WAKEMEUPwakemeupinsideCANTWAKEUPwakemeup
Summary: trent is a trans boy in high school and also in love with his best friendso good times
Relationships: Orange Cassidy/Effy (Background), Trent Barreta/Chuck Taylor
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Don't Call Me Daughter

**Author's Note:**

> title is the song daughter by pearl jam cause i had no ideas  
> this is literally just 50% dysphoria 50% crush on chuck  
> i hated writing trents made up deadname  
> also this fic is because i was talking about this concept with @trentjinshi so he definitely gets credit or else this probably wouldnt exist

Trent tugs at the bottom of the skirt where it flows around the top of his thigh.

"Isn't it a little… short?" Trent looks nervously at his mom where she's smiling and shaking her head. 

"Of course not! You look beautiful in it sweetie, you should wear it to school tomorrow!" Sue says enthusiastically. Trent nods, doing so just to please his mother. 

His heart sank when he saw the shopping bag in her grasp when she knocked on his room door and pulled out a plain pink skirt. It is quite pretty but for Trent it simply adds to the numerous dysphoria garments his mom has gotten him. Trent pulls it off when Sue leaves his room and tucks it into his drawer, tugging on a pair of sweatpants hoping to feel less dreadfully uncomfortable. 

It doesn't work. 

Trent curls himself on his bed, yanking the blanket up over his chest. It's too early to go to sleep, Trent unable to get tired before at least midnight, so he pulls his phone out to flip through. He isn't paying attention to anything he's seeing and at a certain point he almost says 'fuck it' to go to sleep at 9 PM until a name flashes at the top of his screen.

_Hey you need a ride tomorrow?_

_chuck I always need a ride_

_Not always sometimes your mom takes you_

_I was just checking jeez_

_i wouldve told you if my mom was taking me already_

_Okay fine. You wanna play COD?_

_sure_

_Cool_

Chuck is the only person Trent feels normal around, even if he doesn't know Trent is trans either. There's no expectations to be someone he's not with Chuck, he can be a weirdo and express himself more masculinely even if it's veiled by a short skirt and shaved legs. 

Trent throws the blanket off and grabs a large hoodie instead before setting up and putting on his headset. 

"Yo, what's up Tracy?" He can't be mad at Chuck, he doesn't know. Trent can't be mad at anyone for him being trans and it sucks because at least then he could take his anger out on someone but like with all other aspects of being trans, he just has to deal. 

"Sup Chuck." 

"Hey, you didn't ask me about the math homework, did you figure it out or are you just not doing it?" 

"I Googled most of it. Why are those the only two options? I coulda asked someone else." 

"You have other friends now?" 

"Shut up. I have other friends." Chuck's laugh makes Trent smile. He buries his face in his hoodie even though he's alone, shyness and embarrassment taking over as instinct. _You're a guy and Chuck's not gay._ Trent tells himself like he's done many times. Just a reminder not to strive for impossibilities, something he usually fails at. 

"–acy. Tracy!" 

"What, huh?" Trent shakes his head at the sound of Chuck's voice, apparently stuck inside of it for too long. 

"Are you ready to start?" 

"Yeah you can start." 

÷

Trent stares at himself in the mirror before averting his gaze, he hates looking at himself, especially his chest. Of course his mama also got him a way too tight fitting shirt that really accentuated that specific feature. 

"Are you almost ready, dear? Chuck should be getting here soon!" Mama Sue calls to him. Trent sighs and steps out of the bathroom, stuffing a zip up hoodie into his backpack to put over as soon as his mother's not in view, and heads into the kitchen. 

"Oh honey, that outfit looks amazing on you! Very pretty." Trent plops into a seat and pours himself some cereal, trying not to look too put out. The last thing he needs is a Serious Talk about stuff his mom doesn't even know about. 

"Uh, thanks mom." He puts on a smile before stuffing his face with Cinnamon Toast Crunch. 

"I bet Chuck will like it, too." Trent almost spit out his cereal, coughing slightly as he forces it down. 

"Mom, it's not like that!" Trent knows he's not convincing with the small smile and knowing glint in his mother's eyes but he has to pretend, and not even for the normal teenage reason of not wanting to tell your parents anything. It's just too complicated. 

"Oh alright, but you will tell me when someone does catch your eye?" Sue asks with a twinge of hope, Trent can't really say no to his mama when she gets like that. 

"Yeah mom, I'll let you know." 

_Your ride is here_

"Chuck's here." Trent announces after getting the text. He downs the rest of his cereal and hops out of his chair to put the bowl in the sink. 

"Bye mama." Trent kisses her cheek and waves as he goes to open the door. 

"Bye Tracy, have a good day!" Trent waves over his shoulder one last time before closing the door behind him. Chuck smiles when he sees Trent and it does nothing to prevent his growing feelings for his best friend.

"Hey dude, cool skirt is that new?" Chuck greets when Trent opens the car door. 

"How the fuck do you know that?" Trent sits, putting his backpack over his lap and taking out the hoodie. 

"Cause I see you almost everyday and I've never seen you wear it. I dunno man you don't notice shit about me?" Trent hides in his sweater again after he gets it zipped up, not really wanting to admit how much he actually _does_ notice about Chuck. 

"I know you still have that shitty haircut." Trent teases and hugs his backpack over his chest. He actually likes Chuck's hair, it's cute. But Chuck laughs and that's also cute. 

"Hey man! My hair is cool!" Chuck shoves Trent before running a hand through it with a pout. Trent snorts before they're both laughing again, giving way to a comfortable silence. Chuck drums a rhythm on the steering wheel and Trent is content to just listen until the silence is broken again. 

"Hey how'd you get that skirt past your mom?" Trent tilts his head with a slight frown about to ask what Chuck means when he keeps going. "Not that I think it's not cool that you're wearing it, you can do what you want, it's just if I was a girl I think my mom would make me go change if she saw me in it. She makes me go change when I put on a tank top." Trent blushes slightly and tugs at the end of the skirt again. He understands what Chuck means, the skirt _is_ short, Trent just doesn't know how to react to the idea of Chuck looking at his legs. 

"She actually got it for me." Trent shrugs, biting the tip of his middle finger lightly, a nervous habit. 

"Really? Man that's cool." Trent slumps further into his seat ignoring the way the skirt rides up further on his thigh. 

"Yeah." He still tries not to let his discomfort show but he doesn't really bother plastering on a smile like he did for his mom. Chuck doesn't notice, or at least doesn't lead on that he notices anything as they pull up to the school. 

Trent smooths his skirt down and zips his hoodie up a little more before stepping out of the car. It doesn't really go with the skirt, it's old and worn and just overall pretty shitty looking compared to the new and pretty skirt but Trent doesn't give a damn. He just tugs at the front to cover his chest.

Chuck jostles Trent when he slings his arms over his shoulder to walk into school. Trent shoves his hands into his pockets and ignores the people who look at them with the assumption they are together. He wishes it would at least stop the ugly straight dudes from coming up to him all the time but it never does. 

"I'll see you in English." Chuck tugs Trent into his side a little more before letting him go. Trent nods and waves as Chuck starts to step away into the hall. 

"Yeah, see ya." Trent watches as Chuck leaves before heading to his first period. 

He's not ever awake enough to really pay attention and it doesn't help that it's history. Trent holds his head up with his hand as he draws little aliens and random designs. If he had his way he'd spend all his time in the art room. 

If he _really_ had his way he'd have a penis but whatever. 

×

Trent stands at his locker, weight unconsciously shifting to his right foot so his hip is sticking out. He realizes and immediately straightens out both legs, smoothing the skirt over his butt, pulling the edge of his hoodie down, crossing and uncrossing his legs. Trent turns over his shoulder to see if anyone is noticing his fidgeting. _How the fuck do cis guys stand?_

“Yo.” Trent jumps at the sound of Chuck’s voice coming from over his other shoulder. He sees Chuck raising his hands in surrender and sighs in relief. “Jeez Trac, you look like you’re trying to rob your own locker, you good?” Trent closes his locker harder than necessary. 

“Yeah. Fine.” Trent nods, biting his finger again. Chuck frowns and Trent hates it, ducking his head and closing in on himself. Chuck reaches out and holds onto Trent’s shoulder, able to tell something’s on Trent’s mind, even if he can’t really tell what. 

“You sure, you can like talk about it if you want?” Chuck’s brow is furrowed and Trent turns away from him slightly, his hand slipping off his shoulder. 

“Nah, I’m cool, let’s just go to lunch.” Trent begins walking away and Chuck easily catches up with him. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it, not wanting to push Trent. 

“So… did we get any homework in history?” 

“Oh, I don’t know.” 

“Tracy! You have to pay attention!” Chuck laughs, pulling Trent back into his side by his shoulder. It’s enough to make Trent smile again, even if he didn’t say his name. 

He hears a whistle from behind them and his smile is taken away again. 

“Hey Tracy, looking sexy today. Did you wear this for me?” Trent smacks Kip’s hand away where it was inching towards his thigh but otherwise doesn’t respond. He crosses his arms over his chest, unconsciously curling further into Chuck’s side who protectively grips Trent’s shoulder tighter. 

“Fuck off, Sabian.” Chuck scowls but Kip does anything but fuck off. He circles in front of them, specifically in front of Trent. 

“I can treat you better baby, why don’t you ditch this loser.” Kip steps in closer, Trent’s heart beating loudly in his ears. 

“Don’t fucking call me ‘baby’.” Trent shoves Kip _hard_ , he hits the lockers as Trent grabs Chuck’s shirt and tugs him away as fast as he can. He lets go once they get to the end of the hallway, slowing down again and staring at the floor. “Sorry.” 

“Are you kidding?” Trent glances back up at Chuck whose eyes are shining. “That was bad ass, fuck that guy. But… is that how dudes talk to you?” Chuck knows there’s a lot of guys into Trent and that a good amount of the guys at their school are dipshits but _what the fuck?_ Trent shrugs and yet again tugs on the end of his skirt. 

“Yeah I guess, first time someone’s tried it in fronta you. It’s whatever.” Trent just wants to move on but he can tell Chuck doesn’t want to let it go. He tries his best to fix Chuck with a strong gaze to get him to back down but it doesn’t work. 

“Tracy that’s not–”

“Chuck just drop it.” 

“But–”

“Chuck.” Chuck sighs, shoulders sagging a bit in defeat. 

“Fiiiiiine. But I’m gonna get you to talk to me one of these days.” Chuck smiles comfortingly and Trent tries his best to return it. 

_I really hope so._

+

"Are you coming in?" Trent asks when Chuck pulls up to his house. 

"Uh yeah, if that's cool." Trent rolls his eyes at the response. 

"Dude why do you keep asking that?" 

"Well why do you keep asking if I'm coming in?" Chuck shoots back. They're both fair questions considering Chuck hangs out almost everyday so they reach a stalemate in their arguing. 

"Fine just c'mon." Trent gets out knowing Chuck will catch up and follow him in. He pulls out his keys and opens the door to an empty house, parents both at work. Trent immediately makes his way up to his room, Chuck coming in soon after taking the time to take his shoes off at the door. 

Chuck walks in to see Trent crouching by his dresser pulling out a pair of sweats. 

“Should I wait outside or...?” 

“Just turn around or something.” Trent stands as Chuck covers his eyes and turns around for good measure. “Okay.” Trent says and laughs slightly as Chuck peeks over his shoulder to check if it’s safe. “What do you wanna do?” 

“Well we should probably do the history homework that we definitely do have.” Chuck smiles as Trent starts grumbling. 

“Later, we just finished school. It's not fair to keep working.” Trent crosses his arms over his chest as he plops down on the edge of his bed. Chuck shakes his head and sits down next to Trent, leaning back against the wall and throwing his legs over Trent’s lap. 

“Whatever, what then?” Trent absently picks at the seam of Chuck’s jeans and Chuck doesn’t pull away, casual stuff like this being a common occurrence between them. 

“Video games?” Trent suggests with a shrug, looking up when he hears a small chuckle. 

“Do you just play video games and do art?” Chuck asks with a small smile. 

“What else is there to do?” Trent asks with a genuine tone of questioning. Chuck laughs more and leans forward to push at Trent’s shoulder. 

“You’re such a weirdo.” From anyone else Trent might think they were trying to make fun of him but the fond smile on Chuck’s face makes him duck his head with a soft pink blush. 

“Shut up man, so are you.” Trent pushes Chuck’s legs off him so he can get up and set up his system and so that he’s no longer looking at Chuck. He tosses a remote over his shoulder that Chuck catches before going to sit back down next to him. They agree on Mortal Kombat after their usual amount of bickering. They play multiple rounds not paying much attention to the time until Trent hears the front door opening. 

It’s only five which isn’t a big deal, what is though is–

“Hi sweetie! Oh and hello Chuckie!” Sue sticks her head in the doorway with that same knowing look as this morning. 

“Hi mama Sue!” Chuck says brightly. 

“Hi mom.” Trent greets, pulling his leg closer to himself where it was lightly pressed to Chuck’s. 

“Did you want to stay for dinner, Chuck?” Sue offers. Trent isn’t really sure whether he wants him to say yes or no. 

“I think my mom was planning on making something today actually.” Chuck ducks his head slightly as if he was disappointing her with that statement. 

“No problem dear, tell her hi for me!” 

“Yeah, I’ll tell her.” Trent simply listens as they exchange pleasantries while fiddling with his remote and the string of his sweats. He doesn’t have much to contribute and he’d rather avoid any not at all subtle insinuating comments from his mom. 

“Alright well I’ll leave you two alone. Have _fun._ ” Sue smiles and shuts the door behind her as Trent internally groans. At least it was only the one. 

Trent starts another round picking Sub-Zero to play as. 

“You always play as dude characters, what about the chicks they’re super bad ass, wouldn't you wanna play as a cool lady? Wait I definitely am just mansplaining feminism fucking ignore me I'm garbage." To be honest Trent does think the women are super bad ass, there's just something about the hypersexual designs… 

"You're fine, they are cool. I just…" There's times like these when Trent sometimes just wants to say it. _Yo Chuck I'm actually a dude and the female characters make me kinda dysphoric about my own body._ "You know Sub-Zero's just a cool ice power hunk." 

"Yeah that's true he's pretty hunky." Chuck raises his eyebrows at Trent in a teasing gesture before going to pick his own player, completely unaware of Trent's embarrassingly fast heart rate. 

Too soon Chuck’s phone is ringing and Trent pauses the game so he can talk to his mom. 

“Sorry dude.” Trent shakes his head, waving off the apology as Chuck brings the phone to his ear. “Hi mom… Yeah, yeah I’ll come home right now… I love you, too see you soon. My mom needs me home now.” Chuck fidgets with his shirt sleeve, not quite moving yet. 

“Yeah okay, I’ll walk you out.” Trent stands before he can get trapped asking Chuck to stay or something stupid like that. 

“What a gentleman.” It’s just a joke but Trent snaps his gaze to Chuck’s feeling the smile spread across his face. He grabs his arm and bites his lip unable to suppress his utter euphoria. 

“N–no problem!” He says a little too loud, fumbling with the door knob for a second before holding it open for Chuck. He follows him out into the hallway and towards the front door, absolutely ignoring his mother and now father’s gaze as they pass them on their way. 

“So… ride tomorrow?” Chuck asks when they get to his car, leaning against the roof to look at Trent on the other side. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Trent nods, rubbing the back of his neck and Chuck smiles at him. 

“You got it, good night Trac.” 

“Night Chuck.” Trent waves as Chuck gets into his car throwing one last salute before he pulls away. Trent sighs, pulling his hoodie up over his face. _You fucking idiot._ He lets his arms flop down to his sides again, turning to head back into the house hoping to all hell his parents decide to be gracious and leave him alone. 

"Too bad Chuckie couldn't stay for dinner, he's such a sweet boy." Sue says the second Trent walks in. _Shit._

"Uh yeah, he's cool." Trent answers, stepping into the house slowly. 

"Invite him to stay soon." His father nods at the suggestion and Trent curls in on himself slightly. 

"Okay, I'll ask." He agrees if only to end the conversation for now. It works and his parents turn back towards themselves, Trent slipping away back to his room. He should probably figure out what the history homework is anyways.

=

Trent wakes up and feels the tears on his face, trying to calm the shaky breaths. He dreamt about telling Chuck he was trans _and_ that he had a crush on him. Chuck pushed him over and spat in his face, calling him a fa–

Trent lets out a sob, curling his knees into his chest and burying his face in his arms. He can't stop shaking, he wants to talk to Chuck, needs to know it didn't happen but he doesn't want Chuck to hear him cry so Trent tries to just calm down. He wipes his face off and takes a few deep breaths until they stop breaking up with more sobs. 

He turns his head just enough to check the time. There's still twenty minutes before Trent's alarm goes off but he doesn't want to close his eyes again. He's scared of the images in his head but Trent can't move, not yet. He curls himself back under the blanket, rubbing away the last remnants of tears with his sleeve. Trent grabs his phone and pulls up a random game to distract himself but soon he's unable to focus, exhaustion setting back in after being awoken early and crying from a nightmare. Trent's eyes close on their own despite his efforts and his mind drifts back to Chuck.

It's not the same nightmare, in fact it's not a nightmare at all in his half asleep state. Trent _could_ open his eyes again and stop the scene playing in his mind but he doesn't as Chuck wraps his arms around Trent in a hug pressing his lips to Trent's forehead. 

"I love you, Trent." Chuck glances down towards Trent's lips and begins leaning forward, tightening his grip on his waist as his eyes drift closed. 

Trent's alarm goes off and the dream vanishes along with any hope for having a good day. He slowly pulls himself out of bed, shutting off the alarm and trudging his way to the bathroom. Trent avoids all eye contact with himself as he gets ready. He keeps his face turned down towards the sink as he brushes his teeth and washes his face. Trent runs a brush through his hair and lets it fall however before leaving the bathroom, not having looked at himself once. 

Trent opens his drawer and pushes aside all the skirts and grabs a pair of jeans and the biggest shirt and hoodie he has. He puts his converse on and throws the hood over his head before heading out. 

"Hey, kid." 

"Hi dad." Trent attempts a smile but immediately yawns. 

"Woah, you look tired, you didn't stay up too late did you?" His dad asks with a little concern. Trent shakes his head as he throws a pop tart in the toaster. 

"No just woke up before my alarm for some reason." Trent's voice is rough and tired sounding and he honestly likes it better than his normal voice, the annoying high pitched one. 

"Oh, well take it easy today and make sure you get some sleep tonight. At least it's Friday, right?" His dad places a kiss on his forehead and Trent smiles with a nod.

"Yeah, thanks dad I gotta go." Trent feels a vibration in his pocket and knows there's no one else it could be. 

"Bye, love you." 

"Love you, too dad." Trent grabs a napkin and the pop tarts and heads out the door where Chuck is waiting. Trent stuffs one of the pop tarts in his mouth before opening the car. 

"Hey dude, you alright?" _Is it that fucking obvious?_

"Uh, yeah I'm good." Trent tries, taking a bite of his pop tart and looking straight ahead. "You want this one?" He makes an attempt to distract Chuck. 

"Fuck yeah I do, but seriously you okay? Not to like notice shit about you again but you kinda wear that sweater whenever you seem…. _not_ okay…" Chuck keeps looking over at Trent and Trent really wants to look back. 

Chuck standing over him flashes through his mind and Trent squeezes his eyes shut, caring about not crying in front of Chuck more than how he looks right now. 

"Ch–Chuck." 

"Yeah?" 

"We should probably go to school." Trent slowly lets his eyes open. He doesn't exactly look back at Chuck but he flits his eyes over towards his direction seeing his thigh and his arm resting on the center console. 

"Right." Chuck shifts into drive and starts pulling away. Trent finishes his breakfast and is left not knowing what to do with his hands. He curls one into a soft fist on his thigh while he bites the fingers on the other and watches Chuck's hands as he drives. "Um, you finish your homework last night?" 

"Yeah, I did." Trent sees how fidgety Chuck's hands are, how they flex and grip the wheel tighter, tapping a finger rapidly against the back of it. It's what he does when he doesn't know how to handle a situation. How to handle _Trent_. 

"That's good, do you have a thesis for our paper yet?" 

"Chuck." 

"Yeah?" 

Trent doesn't really know what he's doing as they park, he just knows he doesn't like to be the one to make Chuck feel like that. He can't blame his discomfort on anyone but Trent's not gonna be the reason Chuck feels it. Not Chuck. 

"Can I...I wanna tell you something but I'm scared." Trent admits and Chuck's eyebrows furrow in concern. 

"Why are you scared?" Chuck reaches his hand out but hesitates slightly thinking about it before he continues and places his hand on Trent's shoulder. Trent looks up, meeting Chuck's gaze for the first time that day and wonders how much longer that look will last if Trent says what he wants to. 

"I'm scared of you. Of everyone. Not liking me anymore." Trent looks back down at his lap as he hears Chuck shift to face him as much as possible. 

"Well, we've been friends for like six years now and I still like you. You're really cool and weird in the good way and shit Tracy, you could probably rob a bank and I'd still wanna be friends with you. I'd come visit you in prison." 

"What makes you think I'd get caught?" Chuck genuinely smiles finally and Trent likes it so much better than the look of concern. Trent smiles too as Chuck laughs a little. 

"You're clumsy as shit, you think you could get away with a robbery? You'd run into a wall and drop all the money." Trent pushes Chuck slightly but his hand never leaves Trent's shoulder. It's warm, even through his sweater, and he hopes Chuck doesn't let go. 

"I'm, Chuck I'm not a girl, I'm not Tracy. I'm a trans male." Trent grips the car door handle as he waits for a response. He can't take his eyes off Chuck, not wanting to miss any change in expression. Chuck's hand moves on Trent's shoulder and he winces before he feels Chuck rub comfortingly along it making Trent relax again. 

"What's your name?" 

"Huh?" 

"I don't want to call you the wrong thing, if you have a name already, I can help you pick one if you want, or shit is that cool?" Trent doesn't really know what he's hearing as if his brain is rejecting that anything positive could've come from this. 

"I uh, you mean you're not freaked out? You don't have _any_ other questions?" Trent asks, slightly incredulous and Chuck tilts his head. 

"I mean I guess I'm wondering if it really sucked wearing a skirt yesterday or if you've told anyone else yet but dude I don't think being trans is worse than robbing a bank, I don't think it's bad at all." Trent doesn't have time to think before he's throwing his arms around Chuck's neck and pulling him in for a hug. Already for the second time that morning Trent feels like crying and he hasn't even stepped into the school yet. 

Chuck hugs him tightly and rubs at his back while Trent holds in his tears, burying his face in Chuck's neck. Trent takes a moment to calm down before pulling back to look at Chuck again, smiling without any guard or secret laced within. 

"My name is Trent." 

"Hi Trent, you wanna go rob a bank with me?" 

π

If Trent couldn't pay attention in class yesterday, today is ten times worse. He has his hoodie over his mouth to cover the smile that hasn't left his face. Chuck is sitting in the column to his right a few seats ahead. It's not uncommon for Trent to glance over at him kind of a lot during class but now he can't even deny that he's flat out staring at Chuck. 

_Chuck's still not gay_. Trent reminds himself but he at least lets himself have this. Chuck knows who he is and didn't push him away, it makes Trent feel like an actual human. Like he isn't just suffering in his own skin alone. 

Trent sees Chuck move, getting up out of his seat and turning around. He doesn't avert his gaze like he normally would because Chuck is smiling at him and walking over. Trent vaguely sees other students shifting around in his periphery but he's simply focused on Chuck plopping down in the seat next to him with his notebook. 

"So do you wanna go first or should I?" Chuck asks and Trent frowns after smiling for so long. He lets the hoodie slip back down as he blinks at Chuck. 

"What?" 

"Dude! How many times do I have to tell you to pay attention! I can't believe I'm the responsible one, I hate that." Chuck covers his face with one of his hands but is still smiling and Trent laughs. 

"Sorry man, just fucking tell me what we're doing." Chuck kicks him lightly under the table and flips open his notebook. 

"We're fucking like peer reviewing our theses, basically just reading them to each other and giving notes or whatever." Chuck shrugs and Trent nods. "You made a thesis right?" 

"Yeah, asshole, I have a thesis." Chuck raises his hands before motioning for Trent to read it, listening intently. They exchange their ideas and talk about the essays for about two minutes before moving on to whatever bull shit topics. 

Chuck taps his foot against the leg of Trent's chair before leaning forward into Trent's space. 

"Hey um, so do you want me to like call you Trent in front of people? And like your pronouns and stuff? I don't wanna out you or anything or call you the wrong stuff." Chuck lowers his voice leaning as close to Trent as possible to make sure no one hears. 

"Yeah I don't think, I don't wanna be called anything besides who I am anymore." Trent bites his lip and Chuck nods. 

"No problem, Trent." He says, grabbing Trent's shoulder comfortingly. "Are you gonna tell your parents?" 

"I really wanna… I don't know what they'll say though." Trent leans his head in his hand on the desk. 

"I can be there when you tell them, you know so you're not alone if you want." Chuck's hand slips off Trent's shoulder, going to rub the back of his neck. Trent smiles softly looking over Chuck's slightly sheepish expression. 

"Really? You'd do that for me?" Trent lifts his head again and plays with the edge of his sweater. 

"Yeah! I mean fuck Trent, I'd kinda do whatever for you man…" 

_He's not gay he's not gay he's not gay he's not gay he's not gay he's not ga–_

"I'd do whatever for you, too, Chuck." Trent's shoulders creep up towards his ears as Chuck ducks his head and they both are suspended in a moment of bashfulness. Chuck's looking off to the side and Trent can't help but stare again at pink cheeks and long eyelashes and a shy smile that feels like his own. It wasn't exactly like his dream, it wasn't _I love you_ , but this declaration feels just as important, Trent's sure his heart wouldn't beat this way if it wasn't. 

The teacher calls for everyone to return to their seats and Chuck grabs his notebook, snapping out of his reverie as he turns back to Trent. 

"Uh yeah so just let me know when you wanna tell your parents, I'll be there." Chuck lifts his hand but holds it there if not sure what to do with it. He ends up plopping it on Trent's head in a half pat half stroke before going back to his seat. He watches Chuck walk back and resumes his staring from before.

The teacher starts again and despite the numerous times Chuck has told him, Trent definitely doesn't pay attention. 

√

Chuck rushes down the hall to his next class where he knows Orange will be there already sitting in the back with his feet up. He hurries in and stands in front of Orange's desk slamming his hands down on the top. Orange turns his head slightly to acknowledge Chuck's presence so Chuck deems it okay to speak. 

"How do you know you're gay?" Chuck asks, and Orange turns his head fully towards him, lowering his glasses to look at Chuck before pushing them back up. 

"Dudes are hot and you wanna fuck ‘em." Orange shrugs but Chuck isn't satisfied with that. 

"What if it's just like one guy?" 

"Do you wanna fuck him?" 

"HEY! I–I don't wanna talk about it! Is that it though? You just wanna fuck dudes?" Chuck frowns, still not satisfied and still not any less confused about what's going on in his head. 

"I mean you wanna love someone and stuff too if you've got romantic attraction. Like give a dude a hug and hang out…" Chuck sees the small smile that adorns Orange's features and it's enough to distract him from his own dilemma. 

"Who are you talking about?" Chuck raises his eyebrows with a cheeky grin. He definitely doesn't miss the distinct blush that spreads across Orange's whole face. 

"Who are _you_ talking about?" Orange fires back and now Chuck's blushing. At least he's not completely red and still getting darker. 

"Alright fine truce. I need help though, man!" The bell rings and Chuck groans, plopping down next to Orange. 

"Are you into girls?" Chuck thinks hard. Probably way harder than necessary to answer this question. 

"Um, I mean Kris is pretty and Candice… And like Sanada and Cole are hot or whatever but just noticing that doesn't mean anything. I'm just not blind." The teacher and students start filing in and Chuck lowers his voice. 

"Ever had a crush?" Orange leans over the desk holding a pencil in his limp hand, presumably to take notes although Chuck's pretty sure there's not much more than orange juice bottles and spare sunglasses in his backpack. He wonders how many of both of those he goes through a day before he refocuses. 

"I don't think so, I dunno man I've always just hung out with Tr– uh _Beretta_? And you whenever you appear next to me." There are other casual friends too he talks with at school obviously, but Chuck doesn't feel the need to list all of them when none of them have really been close like how he feels with Trent. 

"Why'd you call her _Beretta_?" 

"Don't worry about it! Just this guy I've known him forever and just _now_ I sorta felt something for him…" Orange cautiously turns his head towards Chuck. 

"You're not talking about me, right?" Chuck drops his head in his hands, stopping himself from yelling. 

"No dude!" 

"Kay good. I'm not talking about you either." 

"Who are you talking about?" Chuck tries again because he's seriously curious, Orange has never mentioned anyone to him and he never sees him unless he comes up to Chuck from out of nowhere. 

"I'll tell if you do." Orange raises an eyebrow in challenge and Chuck groans. 

"I _can't_ tell you. It's complicated. I would if he– if it was different." Chuck's brain is going into overdrive and Orange's is too it seems by the way his eyebrows scrunch together. 

"I'm confused." 

"Me too!" They fall into silence and Chuck feels like a hypocrite, he doesn't even know what the teacher's saying. He's ready to just drop it and holds his head up trying to tune in. 

"It's Effy." Chuck whips his head back to Orange when he hears his voice. His face is at that previously incredibly red state and Chuck smiles. 

"Dude he's a hunk." Orange grins, lowering his glasses again leveling Chuck with an amused look. 

"That was pretty gay." Orange says and Chuck ducks his head. The confusion is still there but it's seeming to settle in his brain a little more. 

"Ugh, I know. Thanks Orange." 

"If you really wanna thank me you'd tell me who you're gay for." 

"Shut up! I will… eventually." 

_He's my best friend._

%

Chuck slams his locker shut and starts making his way towards Trent's so they can leave together. He ignores the way his heart swells when he sees Trent like he hasn't been seeing him all fucking day. 

And then it drops. 

That douchebag Jay White walks up to Trent, leaning against the lockers like the pervert he is. 

"Hey, you know you look so much better when you wear those cute skirts." 

"Go away." Trent says but Knife Pervert just scoots closer.

"C'mon your legs are so pretty, your boyfriend can't be the only one who gets to see your cute little butt." Chuck moves without thinking, if he's gonna be Trent's boyfriend, he might as well be Trent's boyfriend.

"Hey, Trent!" Chuck wraps his arms around Trent and places an obnoxiously long kiss to his cheek. "Ready to go?" Trent's blush is really pretty and it makes Chuck lose focus for a second but the way Trent smiles and leans into Chuck is worse. 

"Yeah, let's go." He lets Trent drag him away, getting one glance at Jay's dumb ass, confused expression. 

"Dude that was fun! Did you see that dipshit's face!” Chuck laughs, keeping his arm around Trent like he normally would. “Sorry if that was weird, people just think I'm your boyfriend and…” 

“It’s cool, Chuck, it was kinda fun.” Trent smiles up at him and now Chuck is sure he’s never had a crush because if that’s what this is he’s never felt like this before. 

“Yeah! He looked so stupid!” Trent laughs as they leave the school and Chuck reluctantly lets go of Trent so they can walk to his car. Chuck has the weird, stupid urge to open Trent's door for him but that would be weird and stupid so he gets in and turns the car on. 

"Maybe you could, you know, pretend to be my straight boyfriend. Or not straight I– never mind…" Trent curls in on himself in the way Chuck knows means he's embarrassed. Chuck reaches out and grabs Trent's shoulder, squeezing slightly before letting it just rest there. 

"I'll pretend to be your boyfriend, but it's not straight because you're a guy, we can be gay." Chuck wonders what else he can do to make Trent smile like that because it's quickly becoming his favorite sight. Chuck takes his hand off Trent's shoulder and grabs the wheel, focusing on driving rather than literally everything about Trent at the moment. 

"I just… maybe it'll make them stop." Trent shrugs, wrapping his arms around his chest. Chuck's heart sinks, he can never understand the overwhelming discomfort Trent has to go through, he feels like he can't even help Trent with it but he'll try. 

"I'm sorry you have to deal with this, but you're definitely manly enough to kick their asses and I'll always be there to back you up if you need me." Chuck says and it causes another blinding smile from Trent. 

"Thanks, Chuckie." 

"No problem, babe!" Trent laughs and Chuck thanks the universe for that cause otherwise he would've had a real crisis about fucking saying _babe._ Chuck clears his throat a little as Trent goes silent, tapping on the wheel in the nervous way not the bored way. “So what do you wanna do?” 

"Oh well my parents wanted me to ask when you could stay for dinner. You don't have to or anything you can still stay until you have to leave or whatever." Trent fiddles with his hoodie sleeve and Chuck smiles softly at the action. 

“Yeah actually my parents are going out tonight anyways but I’ll call ‘em and see.” Trent nods and pulls his backpack up to his lap so he can grab his keys out of them. Chuck slows to a stop in front of Trent’s house and follows Trent out. 

Chuck takes his phone out of his pocket and starts to call his mom. Trent turns towards him looking like he wants to say something when he notices Chuck on the phone. 

“Sorry, I’m just calling my mom real quick.” 

“It’s cool.” Trent shakes his head as he opens the door and they both walk inside. Chuck stopping by the door to take his shoes off like always. He doesn’t understand how Trent walks around his own house in shoes. 

“Mom? Hi, yeah school was fine… Yeah uh Tr–uhh Mrs. Sue was wondering if I could stay over for dinner? Okay thanks mom, love you too, bye.” Chuck winces at the look on Trent’s face. “Sorry I panicked.” 

“It’s okay, I know it’s hard when not many people know.” Trent ducks his head and Chuck grabs his shoulders. 

“Hey, it’s not your fault I just don’t wanna disrespect you.” Chuck almost stumbles at how forcefully Trent leans in to hug him but he’s able to hold himself as he holds Trent close. 

“Chuck, you’re great.” Chuck holds his breath, almost believing Trent but, 

“Nah man, I’m trash.” His stupid mouth speaks before he can think about it, so used to the self depreciation he hides himself with. Trent pulls back, keeping his arms around Chuck’s waist but looking up at him with a stern look. 

“Don’t talk about yourself like that.” Chuck blushes under the authority of Trent’s gaze and the proximity to which they’re standing, their arms still around each other. 

“Sorry.” Trent bites his lip and Chuck can’t help following the movement with his eyes. _Were Trent’s lips always so pink and soft looking?_

“I just don’t like you being mean to yourself.” Trent steps back and despite the loss Chuck’s glad for it, scared of thinking any more dangerous thoughts. 

“Right, I must be super awesome if you think so.” Chuck says as they make their way to Trent’s room finally. 

“You can’t just turn it into complimenting someone else!” Chuck laughs at Trent’s attempts to not smile.

“It’s not my fault you’re way cooler than me man.” 

“Shut up.” Trent sits down on his bed and slumps against the wall and Chuck goes to sit next to him, their arms pressing together lightly. Trent doesn’t _feel_ any different than he normally does at least not from a physical standpoint. But he knows the shock running through him at the mere contact is definitely different. Chuck pulls his phone out while Trent gets up to set up some video game again. 

_Yeah I'm definitely gay_

_cool for who_

_My best friend_

_?_

_isnt that tracy_

_Yup._

_…_

_…_

_do you know what gay means_

_It means when your best friend tells you his name is Trent and you get a crush on him you're gay_

_oh_

_well tell him i say hi_

_I don't think he knows you_

_so ?_

"Orange says hi?" Chuck looks up from his phone while Trent is sitting in front of his game console.

"Who's Orange?" 

∆

"Sorry I told him, I didn't wanna call you… not Trent." Chuck says and Trent shakes his head. 

"It's okay, I kinda would rather people know now anyways, I don't wanna hide anymore." Trent smiles reassuringly at Chuck, he knows how guilty Chuck can feel and he wants him to know he's not upset. 

"Orange has a crush on Effy!" Chuck shouts and Trent quirks an eyebrow at him in amusement. 

"What?" 

"I just thought I'd make it even?" Trent laughs and throws a controller at him, he's cute but Trent figures he should stop him before he spills any other secrets. 

"Whatever, pick a game." Trent sits back down and lets Chuck sift through the downloaded games. 

“You wanna one controller Dead Space?” Chuck hovers over the title and Trent looks over at him slightly incredulously. 

“Last we did that it was awful, man.” 

“Yeah that’s why we need practice!” Trent laughs at Chuck’s excitement and tosses his controller to the side. 

"Alright fine, c'mere." Trent notices Chuck blushing, in fact he's sorta been blushing a lot Trent thinks. It's pretty but confusing, it seems to keep happening during normal stuff like when they touch. Chuck seems to break out of the shy hesitancy and scoots closer, pressing his side into Trent's. 

He knows why _he_ blushes when they touch… 

Trent's mind wanders with the possibilities. 

_Maybe he feels weird being affectionate like this with a guy. Maybe he thinks it's weird that I'm trans and he is just pretending. Or maybe he knows I have a crush and he's embarrassed, fuck am I making him uncomfortable?_

Trent spirals and suddenly feels the need to shrink away from Chuck, he's probably just weirding him out anyways. Trent's about to move away when Chuck's hand finds his shoulder again. 

"Hey, Trent? You okay man?" 

"Do I embarrass you?" It slips out and Trent immediately bites his fingers, looking down in his lap to not meet Chuck's gaze. 

"What? Why would you think that?!" Chuck's voice raises a little in his confusion and Trent winces at it. 

"I dunno… I mean you aren't weirded out at all? You're not like embarrassed to be seen with me?" Trent hugs his arms over his chest and even though he's saying them, the words don't seem right. He's not sure how he got here and now he's just accusing Chuck of lying despite all the effort he is putting in. 

"Woah woah, no Trent you're not weird or embarrassing." Chuck says softly as he slides his hand across Trent's shoulders and pulls him into a hug. Trent's arms are still protectively over his chest but he tentatively lets go, wrapping his them around Chuck's waist. "Dude if anything I'm the embarrassing one. What made you think that? Did I do something wrong?" 

Trent shakes his head where it's buried in Chuck's shoulder. 

"No, you didn't do anything I'm sorry, I just got I don't even know, like mental dysphoria or some shit." 

"What's that?" 

"I mean I usually get dysphoria about like how wide my hips are, and my chest, and my voice, and all this shit that makes me feel gross and girly. But right now it felt like maybe you'd realize all that and… and realize that I was probably just making this all up and I just want attention and not wanna be my friend anymore." Trent hears how ridiculous it is and when Chuck gently strokes his back he _feels_ how ridiculous it is. 

"Well if I'm being honest, I know you Trent, you hate attention and talking about yourself so if that's what's happening then my best friend was replaced by an alien and I need to go save him on a shitty young adult novel adventure." Chuck smiles when he hears Trent laugh and continues. “I trust you Trent, do you trust me? Cause I swear I’d never wanna not be your friend.” Chuck tightens his arms around Trent hoping that his words mean something. 

“I… I do trust you. I’m sorry, it’s probably not that fun to have a best friend who's breaking down all the time.” Trent pulls back a little and shrugs and Chuck pokes him in the forehead. 

“Don’t apologize to me man, friends are supposed to help each other, right?” Chuck smiles and Trent wants to berate himself for even thinking Chuck could be so cruel after showing him he’s not but instead he smiles back and grabs the remote again. 

“Right. Do you wanna get fucked by this stupid spaceship now?" Trent feels Chuck pull him back into his side and grab the other side of the remote. 

"Hell yeah! Let's kill these fuckers." Chuck's still blushing and Trent's still curious about it but he's also not totally complaining about the pretty sight. 

  
  


“Fuck! Goddamnit I always forget that jump scare.” Trent sags into Chuck’s side covering his face and trying to recover. Chuck laughs as Trent buries his face in his shoulder. 

“I was hoping you still forgot, your fucking scream is so cute.” Chuck says through his laughter. 

_Fuck why did I say that?!_

_Chuck thinks I’m cute?!_

“Asshole, I didn’t scream.” Trent argues but his voice is much higher than he likes and he shrinks into his hoodie slightly. Chuck decides to do what he does best and just blow past things before he overthinks. 

“Yeah you did, man! But don’t worry I’ll protect you.” Chuck means to just grab Trent’s shoulder but Trent shifts as he’s reaching up and Chuck ends up cradling the side of his neck in a gesture far too intimate for Chuck not to panic. 

Trent turns to say some deadpan shit and suddenly there’s a warm hand on his skin and it takes all of his control not to shudder under the touch. Trent was already aware how close they are, their whole sides pretty much pressed together on his bed, but this is definitely not something he’s used to. 

“Y–yeah those alien bitches will have to go through me…” Chuck says meekly, he can’t help filling the silence. He hasn’t moved his hand and Trent hasn’t pulled away and somewhere from the back of his brain he thinks about how dangerous this is but then Trent is licking his lips and he can’t really think about much of anything anymore. 

“Thanks Chuck.” Trent wonders if Chuck can feel how fast his pulse is under his fingertips, his voice is still high and annoying sounding to Trent but he’s quickly not caring about it. 

“Yeah course…” The door squeaks open and Trent is dropped harshly back into reality. Chuck retracts his hand quickly and Trent realizes he never heard his mom enter the house, or walk to his room. He also realizes the state of them, both controllers look abandoned and their proximity is closer than it normally is. His mom sticks her head in and Trent knows she's already making assumptions. 

"Hi Tracy, Chuckie, how was school?" _Right, Tracy._

"It was fine, mama." Trent answers shortly, but not unkind. He wouldn't talk to his mother like that. 

"Did she ask if you could stay for dinner, Chuckie?" Chuck glances down at Trent and the discomfort isn't lost on him. A lot of things make more sense now that Chuck knows. 

"Yeah uh, I called my mom, she said I could stay. She says hi by the way." Chuck smiles politely. He still doesn't feel like he's any good at being comforting but he presses his shoulder a little more into Trent's to hopefully convey the support he wants it to. 

"Great! Well I'll call you down when it's ready!" Sue smiles, lingering her gaze on Chuck before closing the door behind her. 

Trent catches his head in his hands, leaning over his lap. 

"Fuck I need to tell them…" Chuck hesitantly pats Trent on the back, now wary of the positioning of his hands. 

"Well I'm here if you wanna." Trent picks his head up and smiles at Chuck. 

"I guess this is just my fucking coming out day or whatever." Trent says but he's still grinning, amusement mixed in with the nervousness. 

"Oh!" Chuck pulls out his phone while Trent tilts his head in confusion. "I'm adding this to the calendar!" 

"What, why?" Trent bursts out laughing, looking over Chuck's shoulder to see his screen. 

"So we can remember! Don't you wanna tell your kids that today was the day you told your best friend and parents what a cool dude you are?" Trent shakes his head but is thankful for the way Chuck makes it sound so much less scary, thankful for him being there with Trent. 

"I don't know, are you gonna make a big deal out of it every year?" 

"Yup!" Chuck's smile was toothy and adorable, and way too hard to say no to. 

"Fine… do you wanna keep playing?" Trent eyes the abandoned controller not sure what else there is to do. 

"Oh yeah." Chuck picks it up and holds it between them so Trent can grab the other end. And they are just playing again. Which shouldn't be as remarkable as it feels but Chuck knows that with anyone else if he did something so fucking weird like _grab their neck_ he'd have shattered any hope for returning to normal afterwards. But Trent is easy, at this point Chuck's not sure what their friendship can get through but it seems like a lot. 

%

Trent's dad calls them out for dinner and Trent takes a deep breath. 

"You ready?" Chuck asks as they get off the bed. Trent rubs his face, trying to calm himself. 

"No but yeah, I just want it to be done finally." 

"Well if anything goes wrong I'll just do something stupid to distract them." Trent laughs and opens the door, prepared to at least get the words out. 

"That won't be hard for you." Chuck pushes Trent, insulted. 

"Hey! At least I know words with more than six letters in them!" Chuck counters. Trent would normally try and come up with a comeback but now he's out of his room walking down the hall towards his parents. The best he can do is shove Chuck back with a slightly shaky hand. 

"Hey kids, how was your day?" Trent's dad greets warmly. 

"It was alright, dad." Trent hugs him quickly before standing somewhat awkwardly in the middle of the dining room. 

"What about you, Chuck?" His dad gives Chuck a strong pat on the back that takes a lot of strength not to jolt forward from. 

"It was good, sir." 

"You don't need to call me sir, Chuckie." He lands another pat to Chuck's shoulder before letting him go. 

"Sorry." Chuck ducks his head the way he does in front of most adults. For someone who takes edibles in the bathroom during school he is real shy around authority figures. 

"Don't worry about it, Tracy, would you grab some plates, I'm gonna help your mama finish." 

"Yeah, c'mon Chuck." Trent drags Chuck into the kitchen, pulling plates out to hand to him so he can grab silverware. They swerve around Trent's parents to make it back to the dining room, setting the table before sitting down. 

Trent sits on his hands, his leg bouncing with anticipation and just a slight hint of fear. 

Maybe a little more than a hint. 

"Hey, it's gonna be okay." Chuck leans over to whisper and Trent nods. 

"Thanks Chuck." Trent smiles but immediately shakes it off when Trent's parents come in setting the food down and have Chuck and Trent serve themselves first. 

They eat in relative silence for a moment after thanking Trent's mom and dad for cooking. It's peaceful and familiar and Trent's nerves settle enough for him to actually have somewhat of an appetite. Of course he wasn't expecting the silence to last that long but thankfully the questions are mostly directed at Chuck. 

"So Chuckie, how are your parents doing?" Chuck looks up as if he wasn't expecting to be addressed and Trent has to hold back his smile at the action. 

"Oh they're good, today is when they usually go out so I don't really know what they're doing but they probably won't be home until later." 

"That's nice, what do you usually do when they're out?" Sue keeps asking questions in that pleasant mom way that Chuck politely answers. Trent definitely doesn't miss the little head duck again when his dad cuts in to ask if Chuck is dating anyone in that embarrassing dad way. 

"Uh no sir, or sorry not sir." Chuck fumbles a bit making Trent's dad laugh and shake his head. 

"A handsome boy like you?" 

"Dad." Trent decides it might be time to save Chuck who's only growing more red. 

"Hey it's just a question." His mom smiles that same knowing grin at Trent that makes him flush, too. 

The conversation devolves again to more safe subjects like school and work and other typical adult child dinner topics. Soon the plates are being collected and Trent's parents are shooing away their help at cleaning up so Trent awkwardly lingers in the dining room where he'd usually excuse himself back to his room. Chuck seems just as awkward sitting in his seat fidgeting with his shirt sleeve and Trent sighs. 

"Uh–um mom, dad?" Trent gets their attention in the middle of putting the leftovers away and filling the dishwasher, he can't wait any longer. 

"Yes, sweetie?" 

"What's up, kid?" 

"Um can I–I have something to tell you." Trent waits until his parents have reentered the room before sitting back down. He hates the slight concern on both of their faces but it's just what's gonna happen when a kid says they have something to tell their parents. 

Trent's leg is bouncing again and he grips the top of his thigh as he shifts his gaze between his mom and his dad. He can feel Chuck's gaze on him and it's a little comforting compared to his parents' stares. 

"I um, well I wanna tell you that uh…" Trent's heart feels caught in his throat and he tries to clear it but the longer he looks at his mom and dad the more the lump seems to grow. 

And then there's a warm hand on his skin. 

Trent feels Chuck's hand reaching out to grasp his under the table, squeezing gently and grounding him, making him feel safe. Trent looks over at Chuck who gives him an encouraging smile and it feels like he can breathe again. It's probably been too long a silence by the unease on his parents' face when he looks back at them so he squeezes Chuck's hand back and gathers as much courage as possible. 

"I wanna tell you that I'm trans. I um, I'm not a girl, I'm a boy and I go by Trent…" Trent already feels like crying as his parents look at each other and he's probably hurting Chuck's hand at this point. He sees how his mother's eyes get watery and a tear escapes his eyes, rolling down his cheek in defeat. 

But his mom is smiling. 

And his dad looks fond. 

"Trent?" Trent chokes out a small sob at hearing his mother say his name. _His_ name. Trent nods and vaguely feels Chuck's hand on his shoulder guiding him to stand and walking him towards his parents. 

Two sets of arms wrap around him as he cries, all the relief washing over him as he hugs his parents. 

"My son." Trent's father says through a small laugh and it manages to pull even more sobs from Trent. "Trent's a good name." His mom kisses his cheek and holds him tightly before looking past his shoulder. 

Chuck smiles at the scene, shifting in his spot slightly, feeling a little out of place but no less happy for his best friend. He catches Sue's eye, blushing under her gaze. 

"Chuckie?" 

"Uh, yes ma'am?" Trent turns over his shoulder to see that same shocked to be acknowledged look and this time he does smile. Especially when his mama extends her arm to him. 

"What are you doing way over there, sweetheart?" 

Little head duck, red cheeks, awkward walk over… _fuck he's adorable._

Chuck is abruptly pulled forward into Trent by his mom and it feels weird to be hugging his parents while he feels one of Chuck's arms wrap around his waist but he leans into it anyways and lets himself not worry about anything because his mom called him Trent and his dad called him son. 

"We love you, kid. Always will.” Trent looks up at his father, the tears have calmed and he smiles brightly. 

"Thanks dad, love you too." The longest hug of his life finally ends with his mom letting Chuck go. She grabs onto Trent's shoulders with a very serious look. 

"Trent what can we do for you? Do you want to cut your hair? Should I make an appointment? You need new clothes don’t you!” 

“Mom.”

“Honey, you’re overwhelming him.” Trent and his dad say simultaneously and she calms down a bit, wiping her eyes with one hand. From the corner of his eye Trent can see Chuck fidgeting again but his mom is holding him, he can’t do anything about it at the moment. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so proud of you Trent, I just want you to be happy.” 

“I am happy, mama.” Trent reassures his mom before she’s pulling him into another hug making him laugh. 

“Of course dear.” Sue smiles at Chuck in a way he doesn’t understand but it has him blushing before she’s letting Trent go. 

“We’ll let you two go now, but we love you Trent.” Trent’s dad pulls her back a bit and Trent nods. 

“Thanks dad love you guys.” Trent smiles at Chuck and he stops his shifting to return it. Trent begins to walk back towards his room and Chuck makes to follow when he feels a strong hand on his shoulder again. 

“Chuckie?” 

“Yes?” Chuck looks back at where Trent’s dad is grinning at him. 

“Take care of Trent.” Chuck glances in time to see Trent blush before looking at his father resolutely. 

“Yes si–uh I mean I will.” This time Chuck does jolt forward a bit when he receives that harsh pat on the back and Trent is dragging him back to his room. 

Trent closes the door behind them and slumps against it, covering his face trying to contain his wide smile. 

“I told you everything would be okay, tell me you don’t wanna celebrate that every year!” Chuck jokes, eyes widening when Trent is throwing his arms around his neck. Chuck stumbles at the force, catching Trent in his lap as he falls on his ass. Trent’s knee is digging into his stomach and his tailbone kinda hurts now but really nothing matters compared to Trent’s stupidly beautiful smile. 

“Thanks for being here, Chuckie.” Trent climbs off his lap and sits back in front of him and despite his ever growing crush, Chuck doesn’t feel anything but happiness for his best friend. 

“Yeah man, anything remember?” Trent smiles for the thousandth time that day and nudges Chuck with his foot. 

“Yeah anything.” 

$

The weekend goes by quickly with Trent's mom electing to donate every piece of feminine clothing he owned and asking about a hundred times if he was _sure_ he liked his hair long. 

Trent also allowed his mom to post a picture of him captioned 'My beautiful son' that he pretty much fully ignored. He allowed her to post it, he just didn't want to see any of the comments really. Not that he thought they were going to be bad but he figured he was in for a whole shit ton more when he got to school on Monday. 

And there he finds himself. In front of the school, in Chuck's car, wearing a t-shirt and long shorts instead of a fitted blouse and a short skirt. 

"So um, how do you wanna do this? Are we just like holding hands or do you wanna do sappy shit like… I dunno what do gross couples do?" Chuck asks and Trent's brain rewinds. 

_Fuck, I forgot I asked Chuck to pretend to be my boyfriend._ Trent was really caught up in the whole coming out experience that he definitely forgot the two second conversation where he apparently thought this would be a good idea. 

"Um, right, uh I guess we can hold hands and stuff… and maybe like you can kiss me on the cheek like you did before or whatever." Trent bites his fingers, facing forward away from Chuck. He hears Chuck shift but doesn't think much of it until he feels his lips pressed against his cheek. The kiss only lasts a second but it has Trent feeling much warmer than before. 

"Like that?" Chuck's voice is quieter than before as he lingers in Trent's space. He can't seem to do anything but nod as his throat tightens but it seems sufficient enough for Chuck who smiles and opens his car door. "Ready?" Trent nods again and gets out of his side seriously contemplating the stupidity of this decision before Chuck's holding his hand and that takes up most of his brain space. 

It feels less intimate than when Chuck throws his arm over his shoulder because then he feels his whole side pressed into his but it's still nice, Trent just now worries about his hand getting sweaty. Trent can't tell if everyone's staring because Chuck and him are holding hands or if it's because he's now _him_ but either way Chuck was right, Trent hates attention. 

"Hey, you doing okay?" Chuck asks when they step into the hallway. 

"Yeah, I guess. I hate that I can't just be myself without everyone freaking out about it." Trent shrugs, leaning against his locker when they make it there. 

"Yeah, that really sucks. But my offer to do something stupid to distract people is still on the table." Chuck says in an attempt to cheer Trent up. Trent laughs and shakes his head, letting go of Chuck's hand to put away his stuff. "Do you want me to walk you to class?" Chuck shifts a bit not really sure what to do. 

"Nah, your class is on the other side of campus, you'd be late. You're probably gonna be late if you don't go to your own locker soon." Trent doesn't want Chuck to leave, he's just trying to be reasonable. 

"I can be late." 

"Chuck." 

"Okay fine." Chuck raises his hands in concession but makes no move to leave yet. "Just um… be safe?" Chuck lifts a hand awkwardly before putting it back down at his side and leaning forward to kiss Trent on the forehead, speeding off before Trent can respond. Trent watches him leave before closing his locker and heading to first period. 

"Yo, Trent!" Trent jumps slightly at the name. And the distinct voice of Rocky Romero. He turns around just in case he wasn't talking to him and sees Rocky walking right up to his side. "Hey man, congrats. On both things." 

"Both things?" Trent can't help his confusion as Rocky laughs. 

"Yeah man, on coming out and you and Chuckie T still being together. I thought he was straight." _Oh_. 

"Oh uh I mean we weren't together before… but thanks." _He is straight. Just a good friend._

"Oh really? Huh maybe I shouldn't have been a coward then." Rocky says. It seems like every statement he makes only serves to confuse Trent in a whole new way. 

"What do you mean?" Rocky rubs his neck a little cutting into his confident demeanor. 

"I sorta have a crush on you man, but I think we all knew you and Chuck were meant to be you know?" Trent falters slightly but catches himself so Rocky can't see, blushing a deep shade of red Rocky definitely can see.

_Rocky fucking Romero???_ There's no fucking way. 

"You had a crush on _me?_ " Trent asks incredulously. 

"Yeah, you're really cool man. I wanted to ask you out a bunch of times but you were always with Chuck and you guys always look super happy together. I never had a chance." Rocky shrugs matter-of-factly. Trent tugs at the end of his shirt, staring down at the floor. Trent feels bad lying now but if he told it would ruin the whole thing. There's also that dull ache of wishing it were true that makes Trent feel even worse. 

"Well sorry for ruining it by not being a girl." At least there's that. 

"That didn't ruin it." Rocky smiles up at Trent and he gets flustered all over again. For the first time Trent isn't getting harassed by a piece of shit for being a girl. A dude is actually being nice to him and telling him he likes _Trent_. And this particular dude saying that is sorta hot… 

Trent's crush on Chuck isn't going away any time soon but it doesn't stop his heart from feeling like this as Rocky smiles at him. 

"Oh…" Trent responds eloquently and Rocky shakes his head, grin still wide on his face. 

"Don't worry about it, I'm not gonna come between you and Chuck, not like I'd even have a shot at that. I'm happy for you, Trent." Rocky pats him on the back in a friendly gesture and Trent feels warm all over. 

"Thanks, Rocky." Rocky throws a salute and walks ahead to his own classroom, leaving Trent a blushing mess in the hallway. 

¢

Chuck can still feel Trent's skin on his lips and he keeps his mouth covered by his hand in class as if the feeling would leave if he didn't keep it contained. He's able to take notes just fine but in the back of his mind he can't stop thinking about Trent's smile and laugh and the way his hand felt in Chuck's. 

Okay so maybe he isn't paying attention _that_ much but he's at least getting the words down. He really needs to make sure Trent starts taking notes…

_Are you paying attention?_

_clearly youre not_

_Yes I am! I'm just making sure you are too_

_suuure_

_its kinda hard though_

_Okay I know you think history is boring but your parents will kill you if you fail_

_And I think your dad will kill me if I let you fail_

_its not even that…_

_rocky sorta told me he is into me_

_Romero???_

_yeah_

_So are you gonna like leave me for him or something?_

_no dumb ass im just kinda freaking out about it_

_he likes me as a dude_

_and hes sorta cute…_

_You think Romero is cute?_

_i mean yeah dude im not gonna go out with him or anything im just saying he said he was happy for me and that he wouldnt come between us it was just kinda nice_

_Damn. Well cool I guess_

_Anyways take fucking notes on Chinggis Khan_

_yeah yeah whatever_

Chuck frowns with his mouth still covered. _Rocky Romero is cute? Is he cuter than me? What the hell does Romero have that I don't?_

Chuck is aware he's being jealous over someone he's not even dating but he ignores that and internally curses Rocky, that short bitch with his stupid eye patch. 

It's not fair but Chuck thinks it anyways. 

The bell rings and Chuck darts out to his next class letting his hand fall away from his mouth. Trent's on the other side of campus and Chuck can't help thinking about him, if he's okay, if people are giving him shit. Maybe he should go check. 

"Sup." 

"What the fuck! Goddamn you scared the shit outta me." Chuck jumps and shoves Orange in retaliation who stumbles slightly. 

"Sorry." 

"It's fine, sup." Chuck rubs his face and slows his pace a little for Orange to keep up. 

"You looked like you were gonna murder someone." Orange says. There's no questioning tone anyone else would've had, it's just a statement but Chuck still feels the need to explain. 

"I wasn't gonna _murder_ him…" Chuck sighs and frowns again. "There's no way Romero is cuter than me right?" It's not an explanation but it's just what's on Chuck's mind. 

"Not more, he's a different kinda cute. Why?" 

"...Trent said he was." Chuck feels pathetic as he says it. _We're not together, he can talk about other guys all he wants._

"What's the point of having a boyfriend if you're not gonna talk about other guys together? Saw the forehead kiss you work fast." Orange lightly nudges Chuck who flames red, unconsciously pressing his lips together. 

"I dunno man why don't you let me know when you ask out Effy." Now they're both red. It wasn't exactly fair of Chuck but he can't take talking about his fake relationship that he stupidly wishes were real. He can't even place where these feelings came from but they hit him like a truck and now he's going insane, might as well drag Orange down with him. 

"He was talking to Dan." Orange says, looking down at the floor. Chuck isn't gonna claim to be an expert on Orange Cassidy, but he's sure not many other people would be able to sense the distraught tone. 

"Hausen or Dad?" Chuck asks patting Orange on the shoulder. 

"Dad." 

"Well you're cooler than him with his goddamn travel mug. Kid looks like he should be coaching his kids' baseball team." Chuck attempts to cheer Orange up and he earns a small chuckle. 

"It's kinda charming…" There is that same tone and Chuck curses himself for not being good at comforting people. 

"Hey man, you're charming as hell! Just talk to Effy, he'll see that." Chuck feels severely underqualified being someone whose own relationship is a hoax but Orange smiles just a tiny bit and nods. 

"Thanks, Chuck." 

"No problem, man." 

Chuck wonders if he can even follow his own advice. 

#

_Hey Trent you flirting with Romero or something???_

_Okay sorry if I'm being annoying but are you good man? I'm kinda just standing by your locker like a weirdo do you need help?_

_Starting to get nervous dude please tell me you're okay_

Chuck's heel is tapping rapidly against the empty hallway floor. Trent's dad told him to take care of him and Chuck immediately failed. _Shit shit shit!_ Chuck hits the call button, gripping the phone tightly as his other hand runs through his hair, nerves and worry overwhelming him. 

Chuck hears a ring coming from the end of the hall and his head snaps up. He doesn't know how he got to Trent, he doesn't give a fuck really as he pulls Trent into his chest holding him tightly.

"What the hell man! Where were you? Are you okay? Sorry for yelling at you, did something happen?" Chuck clings onto Trent's t-shirt as he fires off questions. He's about to keep going but shuts his mouth when he feels Trent's hands shakily wrap around his waist and the sound of a wet sniff echoes off the lockers. "Trent?"

"I–I'm sorry, Chuckie…" Trent buries his face in Chuck's shoulder, shaking in his grasp. 

"No hey, don't apologize to me I was being a dick, I shouldn't've yelled are you okay?" Chuck feels his shirt start to dampen and he holds on a little tighter. 

"l… I was in art a–and I just wanted to fucking finish my project… I was gonna text you but– but Jake was there. He kept calling me Tr– my deadname. I tried to ignore him and Rocky even told him to shut the fuck up but he kept going and called me a fa– a fucking faggot!" Trent sobs loudly and Chuck's heart breaks. He wasn't there for Trent when he needed him. 

"I'm so sorry. Trent I should've been there, I'm sorry, I told you I'd take care of you and I didn't. Fucking Romero was there when I shoulda been! Maybe you should leave me for him…" 

"Chuck stop." Trent pulls back, taking a few deep breaths as he wipes his eyes. "You didn't know and as much as I would've loved to see you fight him you'd have gotten suspended, just…" He steps in again grabbing Chuck's arm. "Can we get out of here?" 

"Yeah, yeah let's go." Chuck unconsciously grabs Trent's hand even though there's no one around and he's about to take it back when Trent laces their fingers together. Chuck still feels like shit but he can at least do what he does best and say something dumb. "You know I woulda kicked that prick's ass." It has the desired effect of getting Trent to laugh that real cute way where he covers his mouth. 

"I know. I have a strong boyfriend." Trent jokes. His head is ducked too far for Chuck to see his blush but he's also dealing with his own as they walk out of the school into an empty parking lot. 

÷ 

"Do you only have a million versions of NBA2K?" Trent asks as he sits on the floor of Chuck's room. Trent didn't want to go home really, he just wants to forget everything for a moment. 

"No, I have other stuff! We could also watch a movie or something." Chuck suggests with a shrug. Trent nods thinking it might be better to not, well, _think_ much. Chuck hops off his bed onto the floor next to Trent by his stash. "What d'you wanna watch?" Trent scoots closer, leaning over Chuck's lap to look.

"I dunno, Shrek?" It's the first one he sees in all honesty and as Chuck pulls it out he goes to sit on his bed, pulling his knees into his chest. Trent thinks about making some old man joke about Chuck still having dvds but he gets caught in his head as he sits down next to Trent, their shoulders pressing together like always. 

He's really glad Chuck suggested a movie cause he really isn't paying attention. Trent can't stop watching Chuck's fingers tapping rapidly on his knee or feeling the way his shoulder is tense against Trent's. He doesn't really know if this is a good idea or not but Trent has no other plan so he reaches out, grabbing Chuck's hand and lacing their fingers together like before. It was a total impulse move before, he wasn't thinking for shit but it felt nice and Chuck didn't pull his hand back so he figured it was okay. Now he needs Chuck's attention. Trent's glad it works when Chuck looks over at him. 

"Stop." Chuck's eyebrows scrunch together and he opens his mouth but Trent continues. "Stop feeling guilty." Trent's tone is firm but he squeezes Chuck's hand gently. "Please." 

"I'm sorry. I just… I feel like you should hate me." Chuck's head falls and he looks towards his lap. Trent doesn't know what he can do or say, he just acts on instinct when he leans his head on Chuck's shoulder. 

"Chuck, I love you." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, idiot." 

"I love you, too." 

Trent stays with his head on Chuck's shoulder and tries not to think about how their _I love you's_ don't mean the same thing. 

× 

Chuck pretends he isn't still thinking about Trent saying 'I love you' as they go through their new normal at school. Holding hands, forehead kisses, casually calling each other babe, occasionally telling some asshat to fuck off. Chuck has since stopped apologizing to Trent for not being there but he did force himself to talk to Romero in order to get Jake suspended. 

"Romero." 

"Yo, Chuckie T what's up?" Chuck looked past Rocky when he smiled at him but kept going. 

"You were there when Trent needed someone so help me get that dickhead suspended." Chuck absolutely didn't notice Rocky's smile getting wider. 

"Yeah man, let's go!" Chuck absolutely did feel weird about walking down the hall with Rocky to the principal's office. "You're a good guy man." 

"Huh?" Chuck was starting to get annoyed by Romero's smile. And his laugh. 

"Trent's lucky to have you." He decided he'd never let anyone know Rocky Romero made him fucking _blush_. 

It's nice being with Trent, if he isn't always reminded he's not with Trent. 

"So have you guys…" Orange raises his eyebrows as he takes another edible and Chuck immediately feels his face heat up as he drops his head on his knees. 

"No! Why would you even say that!" Chuck's voice is muffled against his sweater sleeves as he tries to think about anything else. 

"Scared?" Orange teases and Chuck picks his head back up looking around the mostly empty hallway. It's one of those rare days where Trent has stuff to do and his dad picks him up. Chuck usually hangs around with Orange because he'd much rather have someone to talk to than just stare at his ceiling with his thoughts. 

"I would be if we were actually dating." Chuck let's it slip. He knows it's stupid but he also knows Orange isn't gonna say anything and it's starting to hurt. 

"Huh?" Chuck laughs and it's sorta like a dam has burst when he finds he can't really stop. 

"Yeah, it's fucking fake! He wanted fuckboys to stop grabbing at him so he asked me to be his fake boyfriend…" Chuck digs his palms into his eyes as the laughter suddenly stops. Somber reality hitting him as he says the words out loud making them all the more real. 

Orange stays silent for far too long as Chuck tries to convince himself he's not gonna cry. He feels a hand on his shoulder and he pulls a hand away from his eyes with a slightly shuddery breath. 

"And you like him." 

"I think I'm in fucking love with him or something." Chuck's still _not_ crying as Orange stands and helps him up. He follows silently as Orange begins to walk knowing there's a point to this excursion. They make their way to the back of the school when Chuck notices how red Orange has become. And then he notices Effy leaned up against the wall on his phone wearing his insanely awesome jacket. He's honestly one of the coolest people Chuck has ever seen. He doesn't ask why Orange knows where Effy is, he just keeps standing there in silence. Orange puts his hand on Chuck's shoulder again before stepping forward. 

Chuck's eyes widen and he almost pulls him back but that's his own lack of courage acting, he drops his hand when he sees Effy smile at Orange. Chuck feels incredibly awkward staring at them and ducks back behind the wall to at least stare at them in stealth. He can't hear for shit what they're saying but the way Orange pulls his glasses off and smiles is kinda cute especially when Effy reaches out and grabs his hand. 

_Aand they're kissing_ . _That was fucking fast. Does it always happen that fast?_ Chuck ducks back behind the wall and looks down at his shoes before pulling his phone out. 

_Looks like you don't need me waiting up for you ;)_

Chuck runs a hand through his hair and sighs. 

_I'll tell him_

He puts his phone away and walks to his car to go stare at his ceiling with his thoughts. 

+

Trent curls up on his side and then flops onto his back when his chest feels uncomfortable. He adjusts his shirt and crosses his arms over his chest, squeezing his eyes tighter. Trent can't sleep. 

It's three in the morning. 

He wants to chop his chest off. 

Trent doesn't know what he's doing as he grabs his phone and holds it to his ear. It rings only twice and Trent holds his breath as he hears Chuck's tired voice on the other side.

"Hey, you okay babe?" Trent blushes in the dark of his room, burying himself in his blanket. 

"Um yeah, sorry I didn't mean to call you so late, I'll let you sleep." Trent regrets calling Chuck in the middle of the fucking night, it was so stupid and he let's his grasp slip a bit until he hears Chuck again. 

"Wait! It's okay, I usually wake up around this time having to piss anyways." Chuck whispers. Trent can imagine him rubbing his eyes and blinking up at his ceiling, his hair kinda sticking up all weird, and shitty cut up tank top messed up to the point where he might as well not even be wearing a shirt. It's a dangerous image but Trent doesn't stop himself from thinking of it as he giggles. 

"How old are you?" 

"Hey! I keep myself hydrated so I gotta get up to pee sometimes!" Now Trent can imagine Chuck's pout and it makes him laugh a little bit more. "But anyways, are you okay?" 

"I'm, yeah I'm fine now I just was uncomfortable. Couldn't sleep." Trent adjusts his shirt again and hugs himself around his waist with his free arm. 

"M'sorry. You wanna talk about it? Or do you just want me to say dumb shit to take your mind off?" Chuck yawns and Trent still feels bad, biting his lip. 

"You don't have to, really I'm okay now. You can sleep." Chuck's deep chuckle has Trent feeling warm. Far too warm to be completely buried in his blanket, he pushes it back around his shoulders and takes a couple breaths. 

"C'mon, lemme say something stupid for you." Chuck says a little less tired sounding than before. 

"Yeah okay." Trent pushes his guilt down and smiles. 

"I don't think goats are real." 

"..." Trent blinks before his mind catches up and he bursts out laughing, covering his mouth quickly so he doesn't wake his parents. "What?!" Chuck giggles on his end and Trent completely forgets about his chest. 

"I was thinking about how goats sounds like ghosts… I thought it'd be funny." Chuck says between laughs. 

"How long you been thinking about that?" Trent asks after they both get their laughter a bit more under control. 

"Um, don't worry about it?" Trent's laughter tapers off into a yawn and he hears a similar one on Chuck's end. He sighs not wanting them to stop talking but knowing they should.

"We should probably sleep, huh?" Trent says, voice a little more quiet than before. 

"You sure? We can keep talking if you wanna." Chuck offers and Trent's tempted to accept but he shakes his head just to remind himself. 

"Nah it's okay, I'll see you in the morning…" He yawns again and rubs his eye, pulling his blanket back up. 

"Alright yeah, see you in like three hours… I love you, Trent." He imagines Chuck feeling the same way he does and it's entirely possible Trent still won't be able to sleep but at least it's not because of dysphoria, right? 

"I love you, too babe." 

Trent closes his eyes and when he doesn't hear the call end he doesn't hang up either, just eventually falls asleep with his phone by his head. 

=

Trent smiles when he finds his mom in the kitchen and she returns it giving him a kiss on his cheek when he gets close enough. 

"How did you sleep, honey?" She asks and despite being tired as shit he smiles a little more. 

"Alright mama." Trent sits down and tugs at his shirt sleeve. "Hey mom? Remember when I said I'd tell you when I like someone…?" Trent's mom turns around, eyes bright as she grins. 

"Yes dear, is there someone?" That ever present knowing expression presents itself on Sue's face and Trent blushes under the gaze and nods slowly. 

"So, you were kinda right… I do like Chuck." Trent simultaneously feels a weight lifted off him as well as the sting of hopelessness as his mom comes around to pull him into a hug. 

"Oh I knew it! Have him come over again soon, I want to get to know my son in law better!" 

"Mom!" Trent covers his face when his mom lets him go before sighing. "I don't– he's not into guys." He says sadly as he goes to get himself something to eat. 

"I wouldn't be so sure." Sue smiles and Trent's face heats up even more. 

"Mooom…" He doesn't even wanna think about the possibility. 

Anymore than usual. 

"Okay okay, but think about it? I think it might be different than you assume." She says, gently. Trent nods and steps away when he feels his pocket buzz. 

"Yes mama, I gotta go." 

"Okay have a good day!" Trent kisses him mom on the cheek and closes the door behind him, not given a moment of respite as he sees Chuck. He really hopes he doesn't look as awkward as he feels.

Chuck rubs his hands over his thighs in nervousness. The very faint sound of Trent's cute snores haven't left his mind and it's making it really difficult to focus. 

"Hey man, did you get to sleep after?" Chuck greets as Trent slides into the seat. 

"Yeah thanks, sorry." Trent lifts his hand to bite his finger but Chuck grabs his hand and holds it between them. 

"Don't worry about it, I like making you laugh." He says and Trent shakes his head trying to get his mom's voice out of it. 

"Well thanks. My chest felt like shit last night." Trent looks down in his lap even as he feels Chuck lift his hand but snaps it back up when Chuck kisses the back of it. Trent covers his smile with his free hand but Chuck sees and smiles, too. 

"You're cute when you do that." Chuck realizes he's saying a _lot_ of stuff and he would be overthinking it or berating himself if he wasn't already planning what he is. 

"Shut up." Trent now does bite his fingers, lightly before letting his hand fall into his lap. His hand is starting to sweat in Chuck's and he almost pulls it away but Chuck is rubbing circles into his skin and it's addicting. 

Silence falls over them but it's still not uncomfortable besides their individual nerves. Trent is biting his lip, Chuck is gripping the wheel, but they're both smiling and their hands are clasped tight. 

Chuck has to pull his hand away once he pulls up to the school and Trent pushes down his disappointment and reaches for the handle when Chuck grabs his hand again. 

"Hey um, can I tell you somethin'?" Chuck turns so he's facing Trent fully, holding his hand between both of his. Trent simply nods and tries to will his hand not to shake. "Right yeah, so… I just, you are really cool and my best friend. I think you're the only person that would laugh at my stupid goats joke and I love you for that. B–but I also think you're really cute and I like kissing your cheek and stuff and, Trent I have a crush on you." Chuck squeezes Trent's hand tighter but he's looking down and Trent wants nothing more than for him to look up so he can see if this is real. 

Trent's not sure if he wants to laugh or cry. He definitely wants to kiss Chuck which isn't helpful when his mind is supplying him with so many doubts that also aren't helpful. He pushes everything he possibly can down and brings a slightly shaky hand to cover Chucks' and he finally looks up. 

"Chuck, I–I'm a boy…" 

"Yeah, I know." 

"I'm not gonna look like this forever." 

"Everyone changes." 

"But I might have like a beard or, or my hair might thin out, and my voice might be weird." 

"You'd look really cool with a beard." 

Chuck blushes as he thinks about it and Trent's brain tries to think of more excuses but his heart is currently telling it to _shut the fuck up_ because Chuck is here holding his hand, telling him he has a crush on him, and Trent really wants to kiss him. 

"Chuck." 

"Yeah?"

"I have a crush on you, too." 

Trent smiles shy and cute and Chuck's brain malfunctions for a second before going into overdrive as it processes the information because Trent likes him too, his best friend _likes_ him and Chuck really wants to kiss him. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, idiot." Chuck laughs and leans forward into Trent's space, watching the way his eyes widen a bit before he's leaning in too. Trent has thought about Chuck's lips a lot and how they feel when he kisses his forehead, or cheek, or hand but now they're pressed against his own and it's way better than anything he's felt. 

_So it does happen that fast._ Chuck thinks. He jumps back with his eyes wide when he hears a bang on the door, whipping his head to see Orange. He's holding hands with Effy and gives a thumbs up with his free hand that gets the middle finger in return. 

"Sorry, he's a little shit." Chuck says but smiles when he hears Trent laugh. 

"It's cool. We should probably go in anyways." Trent shrugs, not making a move. Chuck takes the opportunity to peck Trent on the lips before opening his door catching the caught off guard expression tapering into a small grin. 

Nothing has changed. There's no cosmic shift when they hold hands again, no one really even cares anymore because everyone thinks they're already dating. But they feel it. The touch is still the same but all the underlying worry and constant reminders that it wasn't real fade away and they're just holding hands. 

"Are we like a gross couple now?" Chuck asks and Trent scrunches his nose. 

"Dude, I think we already were." He answers making Chuck groan. 

"Ugh, you're right, we're stupid and gross." He pulls Trent in, grabbing his shoulder as he leans down to kiss him again when they get to his locker. "Whatever I'm not gonna _not_ kiss my boyfriend." Trent buries his face in Chuck's shoulder, the euphoria he feels being overwhelming. 

"I'm your _boyfriend_." Trent repeats and it feels so good to say. He holds onto Chuck for a bit before pulling back, reluctantly letting go of his hand as well to start getting his stuff. "You should probably go to your locker." 

"Whyyyyy?" Chuck pouts and wraps his arms back around Trent's waist which is unfair. 

"Cause, class." Trent keeps his eyes forward, ignoring the way Chuck kisses his temple. 

"Fiiiine. I'll see you, babe." Chuck lets go and steps away and Trent looks at him again with a small smile. 

"Bye, Chuckie." 

"Text me if you need me."

"I will." 

"Pay attention in class."

"Maybe." 

"Are you sure you don't want me to walk you to class?" 

"Chuck." 

"Right yeah, I'm going." Chuck waves and finally turns around. "Fuck you, Miro." Trent laughs as he watches his boyfriend flip off that dick for no immediate reason before walking to first period shaking his head fondly. 

π

"Hey." Trent jumps when Orange Cassidy appears next to him in the hall. 

"Hi. Where'd you come from?" Trent asks but Orange just shrugs so he drops it. 

“Sorry for interrupting.” He smiles when Trent blushes, gently nudging him with his elbow. 

“It’s okay, Chuck told me you and Effy were going out now. He seems really cool.” Even with his eyes guarded Trent can tell the admiration in Orange’s expression. He vaguely wonders if that’s how he looks when he thinks about Chuck. 

“Yeah, he’s great. Chuck is, too. A real fucking weirdo but cool, he’s really into you. Had a little gay crisis about it. Not in a bad way.” Orange tacks on at the end just in case. Trent smiles shyly, shoulders creeping up towards his ears. 

“Really? I kinda did, too but cause I thought he was straight.” Trent says honestly. Orange nods with an understanding that makes Trent wish he could’ve talked to him earlier. 

“I don’t think he was anything ‘til he liked you.” Orange states and Trent doesn’t really have a response, he just lets that idea sink in. “We should hang out.” 

“Huh, yeah we should.” Trent smiles and Orange returns it before Chuck is forcing himself between them. 

“You hitting on my boyfriend, Cassidy?” Trent shakes his head but leans into Chuck’s side when he wraps his arm around his shoulders. 

“No, I’m kinda into my boyfriend.” 

“Right, you guys were making out pretty hard.” 

“So were you.” Orange lowers his glasses and looks between them before Chuck shoves him. 

“Do you wanna hang out with us, you can bring Effy.” Chuck offers and Trent nods. 

“Later, we’re goin’ on a date…” Orange dodges Chuck’s push this time so he messes up his hair instead. 

“Aaaaw, have fuuuuun!” Orange shakes his head and waves and walks off towards the back of the school where Effy is. 

“Bye, man.”

“See you, dork.” 

Chuck slides his arm down Trent’s and laces their fingers together as they leave the school. 

“So what do you wanna do, draw or play video games?” Chuck asks, pulling Trent’s hand up and kissing it making Trent laugh. 

“Shut up. Video games.” Trent answers. They get to Chuck’s car and Trent tugs on his arm leaning up on his toes to press a quick kiss to his lips. 

“You’re so cute.” Chuck definitely loves the way Trent hides his face in his shoulder, he wants to get used to it. 

"Stop." Trent mumbles before pulling away to get in the car. Not without kissing Chuck one last time. “You’re really cute, too.” He says and darts into the passenger seat, laughing when Chuck does the same and relentlessly smooches all around Trent’s face before driving to go play video games. 

√

Trent tugs at the bottom of his binder where it hugs his waist. 

“You got this for me?” Trent smiles, eyes watery as he looks over himself in the mirror. 

“Of course! I know you said you didn’t need anything but I want you to be comfortable, dear.” Sue says excitedly. Trent slips on his shirt and almost sobs when he sees how flat his chest is. 

He didn’t know what to expect when his mom came into his room with something behind her back but now Trent can’t stop staring at his reflection, not totally unsatisfied by what he sees. Trent rubs at his chest and smiles widely when his hand doesn’t curve around anything. His mom comes and wipes his cheek when a tear rolls down and he’s never felt more comfortable. 

“Thank you, mama.” Trent kisses her cheek and she leaves him in the bathroom, still looking at himself. He takes his phone out when his mom closes the door behind her and takes a picture sending it to Chuck. 

_my mom got me a binder !_

😳

_TREBT_

_yeah...?_

_UMM NOTHINH_

_...youre making me nervous chuckie_

_TRRNT YOURE HOT_

_whAT ???_

_IM JUST SAYIBG_

Trent covers his face and feels the heat radiating from it before his phone is ringing and he blindly reaches for it. 

“Um, hey.” Trent quickly escapes to his own room when he hears Chuck’s voice. 

“Hi.” 

“Y–you look good, especially if it makes you feel better, that’s… um nice.” Chuck says and Trent bites his lip. 

“Thanks, Chuckie…I do feel better.” Trent smiles and rubs at his chest again. 

“And it’s hot.” Chuck mumbles and Trent covers his face again. 

“Chuck!” Trent buries his face in his pillow as Chuck giggles. 

“Okay, okay I’ll stop talking about how hot you are, um COD?” Chuck changes the subject and Trent laughs. 

“Sure, babe.” Trent wishes Chuck were with him but it’s enough to hear his voice. His _boyfriend_ calling him _Trent_. 

“Hey, Trent?” Chuck brings him out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.” Trent tugs at his binder, not in uncomfortability or nerves, but in a grounding of reality as his smile grows, knowing just as much as he knows who he is, how he feels about Chuck. 

  
“I love you, too.” Trent imagines Chuck’s smile, wishing he had Chuck beside him to lean on but feeling the relief that their _I love you's_ mean the same thing.

**Author's Note:**

> chuck is just dormant gay trent is nervous himbo and i love them  
> tumblr @junglecassidy


End file.
